Welcome to The Counselling Shed
The feeling of not being enough lurks in the background of a whole range of presenting issues such as low self-esteem, low mood, depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, lack of certainty, lack direction in life, lack of purpose, anxiety, career problems, body image problems, addictions and obsessions, feeling lost etc.
In other words whilst you might be feeling depressed, or be powerless over an addictive behaviour, or be struggling with your career or relationship, if you dig down a bit deeper and some version of ‘not enough’ can almost always be found.
Do you feel that you might be harbouring beliefs of not being enough?
There are many versions of not enough: not good enough, not smart enough, not clever enough, not attractive enough, not pretty enough, not tough enough, not man enough, not big enough, not small enough, not straight enough, not gay enough, not likeable enough, not successful enough, not rich enough, not important enough… [feel free to insert your own word here].
You are enough though. You really are!
If you have difficulty in believing this, or if you think that the feeling of not being enough might be lurking behind other problems that you are struggling with, then feel free to get in touch and let me help you.
Imagine how great it would feel to go though life with a sense of inner confidence and ease. No longer constantly comparing yourself to others, no longer constantly trying to please others to make up for your sense of lack, no longer constantly berating yourself or relating to yourself in a harsh or critical manner. No longer feeling sad, low or depressed because you are not rich enough, talented enough or successful enough. No longer feeling like an imposter in your job, relationship or life. No longer obsessed with dieting, going to the gym or how you look. No longer obsessed with your grades or your performance at work, or how well you are doing compared to your peers, friends or colleagues. No longer reliant on substances or behaviours as a way of distracting yourself from feeling that you are not enough.
Sure, you can still go to work, to the gym, be in a relationship, be successful, study, take care of how you look etc. but now with a sense of inner ease, genuine enjoyment and authentic fulfilment.
How great would that feel?
Hi, my name is Bradley Starkey. I am a Kent-based Counsellor, working from a discrete location between Canterbury and Faversham. I am fully qualified, fully insured and professionally registered with the BACP.
I support my clients to understand their feelings of ‘not enough’ and I help them to find out what it is they are really looking for from counselling and from life.
Due to messages we’ve received in life and/or due to the impact of difficult life experiences, we often feel that we are somehow not enough. Rather than trust, accept and value ourselves, just as we are, we often think ‘if only I could change this aspect of myself, or be more…, then I would feel acceptable, worthwhile, appreciated and valued etc’. Working together I support my clients to move from feeling ‘not enough’ – to feeling valuable, confident and authentically purposeful.
The truth is that you are more than ‘just enough’, you are brimming with potential, power and purpose. We all are, but often we just need a little help along the way to realise and/or remember this.
From working with hundreds of clients now, my experience is that striving towards some outer level of change in an attempt to feel that we are enough, rarely results in us feeling the sense of inner self-acceptance that we are all so desperately in need of.
Please get in touch if you feel that I might be able to support you. I look forward to hearing from you.
‘Our deepest fear is not that we are weak. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?’
Marianne Williamson
Apprehensive about Counselling?
The initial step of deciding whether or not to contact a counsellor – the step that also involves admitting that we could use some support and that we cannot do it all alone – is often a nerve racking step. It is also a courageous step. So if you are feeling fearful, unsure, worried or scared, then you have my full understanding.
Who I support
I have years of experience in offering counselling support to a wide range of men and women.
A lot of my clients have been feeling on their own for some time because they have never had anyone to talk to about how bad or inadequate they secretly feel about themselves, or they have other worries that they’ve been keeping to themselves for a long time.
I also see a lot of younger people who have no real idea of what they want to do in life and yet feel an immense pressure to appear to be looking like they are certain and in control of their direction.
Many of my mid-life clients are questioning life decisions they have made such as career, relationship, friends, hobbies.
I see a lot of gay, lesbian and bisexual clients sometimes with issues related to their difficult experiences of growing up in what is still a predominantly straight world, but also often with other issues – low mood, addictions, regrets, career issues, relationship problems, parenting struggles etc. I also see clients who are confused and/or unsure about their sexuality.
I offer a non-judgmental space for you to share as little or as much as your feel comfortable with so that together we can work out what you are looking for from counselling and what the best way forward for you might be. I will not ‘make you’ do anything or put any demands upon you but I will support you to identify what it is that you need.
I look forward to offering you a discrete, supportive and effective counselling service.
Face to Face and Online Counselling
Counselling sessions are either face to face, online, or a mixture of the two: please call or email and we can work out a best way forward for you. For local clients – the counselling shed is located between Canterbury and Faversham in Kent and if anyone is worried about whether they will be seen, or bump into colleagues, family or friends, the counselling shed is located in a discrete and private location.
Appointments are offered daytime or evening subject to availability.
Counselling Fees
Affordable fees will be discussed on application.
If required, I have a limited number of discounted rate slots for students of counselling and full-time students.
Get in touch
If you feel that you might benefit from my counselling support then please feel free to call for a no obligation 10 minute chat, or email, so that we can work out a best way forward. I look forward to hearing from you.
Take care
Whether you decide to contact me or not, and wherever you are in life and whatever you are feeling, I wish you well. In those times when you feel low it may be helpful to remember the medieval Sufi saying: ’This too shall pass’.
‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.’
Winston Churchill
