I am a BACP accredited psychotherapeutic counsellor, a sex addition therapist* and an accredited 5Rhythms movement meditation teacher. I work with clients of all ages who are tired of thinking and feeling that they are somehow not enough and with clients who are stuck in patterns of compulsive sexual behaviour. I support my clients to grow in self-acceptance, self-compassion, sobriety, authenticity and vitality.
Are you harbouring beliefs of not being enough?
There are many versions of not enough:
not good enough
not smart enough
not clever enough
not attractive enough
not tough enough
not man enough
not big enough
not small enough
not pretty enough
not straight enough
not fit enough
not likeable enough
not successful enough
not rich enough
not important enough
not spiritual enough…
[feel free to insert your own word here].
Hello and welcome to the Counselling Shed
My name is Bradley Starkey and I run the counselling shed.
Have you been feeing that you are somehow not enough?
I help people to regain a sense of self-acceptance, authenticity and vitality so that they can find their next steps forwards. *I am also completing specialist training in supporting clients who are stuck in patterns of compulsive sexual behaviour (including the watching of pornography, which is an increasing problem, especially, but not exclusively in young people).
The Counselling Shed is positioned in a discrete location between Canterbury and Faversham in Kent.
I also work online.
Are you ready to say goodbye to feeling flawed, inadequate and not enough?
Here are some of the advantages:
No longer constantly comparing yourself to others.
No longer constantly trying to please others to make up for your sense of lack.
No longer constantly berating yourself or relating to yourself in a harsh or critical manner.
No longer feeling sad, low or depressed because you feel that you are not rich enough, talented enough or successful enough.
No longer feeling like an imposter in your job, relationship or life.
No longer obsessed with dieting, going to the gym or how you look.
No longer obsessed with your grades or your performance at work, or how well you are doing compared to your peers, friends or colleagues.
No longer fantasising about how much easier your life would be if you were somebody else.
No longer reliant on substances or behaviours as a way of distracting yourself from feeling that you are not enough.
Sure, you can still go to work, to the gym, be in a relationship, be successful, study, take care of how you look etc. but now with a sense of inner ease, authentic fulfilment and vitality.
How great would that feel?
The damaging psychological effect of feeling that you are not enough.
The feeling of not being enough lurks in the background of a whole range of presenting issues such as low self-esteem, low mood, depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, lack of certainty, lack direction in life, lack of purpose, anxiety, career problems, body image problems, addictions and obsessions, feeling lost etc.
In other words whilst you might be feeling depressed, or be powerless over an addictive behaviour, or be struggling with your career or relationship, if you dig down a little deeper, some version of ‘not enough’ can almost always be found.
The damaging psychological effect of feeling not enough can be profound and it can negatively affect us in multiple ways, preventing us from reaching our potential and inhibiting our enjoyment of, and satisfaction with, life.
With my counselling support, clients are able to explore where such negative and limiting beliefs have come from and they work towards growing a more generous, life enhancing and affirmative view of themselves.
Sex and Porn Addiction
Sometimes people attempt to cover up thoughts and feelings of not being enough, and/or to distract themselves from difficult feelings such as boredom, loneliness, overwhelm or stress. One of the methods of doing this is through the use of sex and porn.
Maybe we all do this to some extent.
However, used over time as a means of self soothing and/or as a way of regulating emotion, sex and the watching of pornography can become compulsive whereby instead of it being something pleasurable and enjoyable, it becomes something that people can easily become enslaved by.
It used to be thought that all additive behaviours were a result of past trauma or attachment issues (difficulties in forming relationships) but increasingly evidence is suggesting that whilst past trauma and attachment issues can certainly contribute to the development of addiction, people are increasingly becoming addicted to porn purely because nowadays it is a much more accessible go-to.
Since 2007, with the introduction of the i-phone and broadband, there has been an explosion in the amount of pornography online and access to porn has never been easier. And whilst porn addiction can affect people of all ages, evidence suggests that it is increasingly becoming a problem for young people.
What used to be classed as hard-core porn, and even illegal porn, is now so readily accessible: just a click or two away, and this material is negatively impacting upon the way that young people are coming to view relationships, sexuality, emotions and their bodies.
If the use of sex and pornography has got to the point in your life where it has become compulsive – where, despite your best efforts you are unable to stop thinking about it or to stop acting out sexually, if it has started to have an impact on your partner, family, work, finances and/or health, then help is available.
It is possible to recover.
It is possible to take steps forwards that are in alignment with your authentic goals and values in life.
Are you feeling apprehensive about seeking Counselling support?
The initial step of deciding whether or not to contact a counsellor – the step that also involves admitting that we could use some support and that we cannot do it all alone – is often a nerve racking step. It is also a courageous step.
So if you are feeling fearful, unsure, worried or scared, then you have my full understanding.
Waiting to support you if you feel you could use my support!
Face to Face and Online Counselling in Kent
Counselling sessions are either face to face, online, or a mixture of the two: please call or email and we can work out a best way forward for you.
For local clients – the counselling shed is located between Canterbury and Faversham in Kent and if anyone is worried about whether they will be seen, or bump into colleagues, family or friends, the counselling shed is located in a discrete and private location.
Please note that the Counselling Shed is accessed by a step and there are no WC facilities. If this presents an issue for you then please feel free to get in contact to discuss the possibility of an online appointment.
Appointments are offered daytime or evening subject to availability.
Individual Counselling sessions are 50 minutes long.
Take action now and get in touch
Look, don’t go on struggling on your own, reach out and get the support that you need. I look forward to hearing from you.
Please click here for my contact details.
Further details about fees can be found under FAQ’s.
‘Our deepest fear is not that we are weak. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?’
Marianne Williamson
