Men and Mental Health: who can men talk to?

June 17th, 2021

I recently stumbled across the music video to Elderbrook & Rudimental’s track Something About You. I love it! All too often men live with the pressure of feeling that they have to have things under control; to look like they know what they are doing. This music video communicates the power – yes, the power – that men embody when they allow themselves to be vulnerable.

Do take a look at it if you have time and see what you think and feel about it.

For me, I found it to be moving, inspiring and liberating. Liberating because it is not often that we get to see this aspect of masculinity in the media.

In a recent article entitled ‘Sometimes it’s hard to be a Man’ the author Catherine Jackson writes ‘that little boys are not in fact naturally less emotional; they are socialised into this’. All too often men are brought up to bury, ignore or dismiss their feelings, particularly if those feelings have stereotypically been associated with not being manly such as fear, sadness, the feeling of being inadequate or uncertain. But feelings help us to be able to identify what it is that we might need. As Catherine writes:

We have nerve endings so we don’t stand too close to the fire and get burned; we feel hunger so we know to eat; we have thirst so we know we need to drink; we feel loneliness so we know to seek company; we feel anger so we know to set boundaries – they are all feelings that connect us to what we need.
(Therapy Today, Volume 32, Issue 6, p. 23.)

Counselling offers a non-judgemental space where you can let go of the pressure of feeling that you have to be in control of all aspects of your life: certain of, and responsible for, everything. For 50 minutes a week you are offered a space where you can dismount your metaphorical white horse, – in legends and myths the white horse has carried the brave, bold, courageous hero around. Counselling offers a space where you can uncover, discover or recover what might really be going on for you so that you can explore what you might need and what your next steps in life might be.

I hope you enjoy the video – the music is not bad either!

Take care.

Bradley

The Counselling Shed

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