The Counselling Shed
It is becoming increasingly obvious to me, that what we give our attention and awareness to, creates our world. That is why Neuroscientist Ian McGilchrist says ‘attention is a moral act because it helps change the world.’
So, what are you giving your attention to? What Type for World are you Creating? And is this world in alignment with who you want to be?
Many of my clients say that they were first exposed to pornography from the age of 8 (a few even earlier than this). So let’s do the maths…
Often my clients say that they watch porn 4-5 times a day. And when they go online they are not logging on to just view one image or video at a time. So, let’s say that they watch a conservative 10 videos or images each time.
Based on these numbers, by the time they are 21 they will have watched 237,250 pornographic videos or images. And remember, this is a conservative estimate! Also remember that this is by the age of 21. Many of my clients have been habitually watching porn in this way for 30+ years. We also need to consider, how over time, the content of such material has become more novel, more extreme and more hardcore.
In many ways, I keep an open mind about pornography since for many people, pornography forms an enjoyable part of their sexual pleasure. But if your use of pornography has developed into what feels like a problem, then it would be worth asking yourself two questions.
What type of world are you creating?
Is this world in alignment with who you want to be?
If it is in alignment with who you want to be, then what’s the problem? There is no problem (as long as your sexual behaviour is consensual, legal and not harmful (to self or others). Keep on doing what you are doing and I wish you well.
But if your behaviour is not in alignment with who you want to be and it feels compulsive and out of control, then do know that help and support is out there.
Change is possible!
Recovery is possible.
Growth out of these behaviours towards values and behaviours that are more in alignment with who you want to be, is definably possible.
But change is unlikely to happen all on its own and it’s unlikely to happen without some specialist therapeutic support.
If you would like to find out how I work with my clients, then do reach out to me by email or by phone message or text. I don’t bite. I won’t shame you and I look forward to hearing from you.
All the best now.
E: bradley@thecounsellingshed.co.uk
M: 07757 859650